Where do I start? I guess you could say it’s been a little
while since I’ve posted a new blog.
So much has happened since I last posted.
My children are getting so big! My beautiful daughter is almost 20 months old
and growing and learning so much every day. My boys are growing into such
handsome young men.
I think I need to change it up a bit, so from now on my posts will mainly consist of little
funny moments that happen, pictures that I want to share, home renovations, and
things my kids say. Kids really do say the darndest things!
(The highlight reel of my life)
THE REALITY
The other big thing that I want to start talking about is my
weight loss journey, or not weight loss in particular, but my journey to loving
myself. I have always talked about how I am an open book, and I truly am. If
anyone asks me questions I am completely honest. But, let’s face it, I am not
all about putting all of my failures out there for everyone to see, thus making
my highlight reel of posts seem like I don’t struggle. Trust me when I say, I
struggle. I struggle daily and sometimes all day long.
After having such a
great pregnancy with Ella I just knew I would get right back at it. That wasn’t
the case at all. Two weeks after she was born I thought I was ready, but I wasn’t.
I tried to work out and within 10 minutes she started to cry. I think right
then and there I had started to give up on myself.
When Ella was about 2 ½ months
old she was admitted to Riley Children’s Hospital with failure to thrive. I
never left her side and we were stuck in that hospital for almost 2 weeks.
During that time in the hospital I had probably gained around 10 pounds. That's right, you read it correctly. I was
starting to spiral and didn’t even want to recognize it. On April 7, 2017 I got
on the scale and it read 170.2.
I don't have any pictures from that date, but it's because I wasn't ready to start yet. February 2, 2018 was, what I guess you would say, when I started to get real with myself.
I was mortified. Being that I am only 5’ there isn’t much hiding of the extra weight that I can do. It was just there, staring me right in the face. Each week I struggle to stay consistent, each day I struggle with temptations, but don’t we all? Each week I would weigh in and if I would have a good loss that week I would reward myself with, guess what? Food. It took so long for me to start realizing what normal balance looks like.
April 30, 2018
March 1, 2018
June 9, 2018
June 20, 2018
I try and eat healthy BUT I also
enjoy and indulge on the unhealthy as well. It’s all about balance for me. I
try and workout at least 5 times a week, but sometimes it’s only 3 or 4. The
weight is coming off now, slowly, but it is coming off. It’s coming off in a
way that I feel can be maintained and doesn’t completely deprive me of all my
favorite things. I had to start waking
up early before everyone else in my house was awake to get in my workouts. This
was something I was dragging my feet on for a long time, but I knew the only
way I was going to get my workouts in was if I did it before my kids were
awake. I still don’t enjoy waking up early, but it has gotten easier and I always
feel better after doing it.
Someone once told me “Don’t wait to get motivated,
it will never happen. You just have to do it. Make yourself do it.” I try and
remind myself of that when I start to get in a rut and think, “Oh, I just need
to get motivated.” or “I’ve just lost my motivation.” No, don’t wait for it, it’ll
never happen, you’ve got to make it happen. Since getting on that scale in April of 2017 I've lost over 26lbs. and the last 25lbs I am trying to lose are taking their sweet time, but that's okay, because it will happen. Anyway, I don’t want my blogs to
become these long drawn out sagas, but more of a place for people to go when
they themselves are feeling those struggles and need to see they aren’t alone.
I started writing this blog in the morning after having a
good 2 lbs. weight loss this morning and then rewarded myself with Betty Jane's
pumpkin muffins for breakfast. (They were so delicious by the way) For lunch; Chinese
with some girlfriends. I’m not perfect, never claimed to be and I never will. I’m
human, I’m flawed, and constantly striving to do better.
